O Christmas bump, O Christmas bump…
This morning I was at an appointment when I had a brush with fame. Okay, more like, I saw someone famous from a distance. I was pushing my baby in her pram, making sheep and cow noises as she laughed hysterically, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a bump. A pregnant bump, that is. I tend to notice baby bumps because, hello, I write about pregnancy and parenting all year long. It’s a job hazard. Bumps and babies catch my eye wherever I go.
As I raised my eyes to smile at the owner of this beautiful bump, I stumbled over my own feet. It was Anika Moa! In the flesh! Rocking her baby bump in the very same location I was making sheep and cow noises at my baby! My first thought was, “OMG did she hear me making sheep and cow noises?” and my second thought was, “How does her skin look so nice?” and my third thought was, “I canNOT go up to her and fangirl to her face. I cannot. Resist. RESIST.”
I played it cool. I did not make eye contact. I stopped looking at her baby bump. I went my way, and my new bestie Anika went her way. All the while, my baby was yelling, “Mama, mama! BAA! MOO! MAMA BAA! MAMA MOO!” as I desperately tried to pretend I couldn’t hear her or perhaps she was talking to another mother in the vicinity.
Now, I happen to think Anika is talented and hilarious but, like most famous people, I figured she’d be a bit disappointing in person. Not that it matters what I think, because I probably would never see her, even though we live in the same small country and, let’s be honest, once I ran into my dentist when I was on a weekend visit to Sydney because Kiwis. Always. Find. Each. Other.
But I was wrong. She’s luminous. It could be that she is pretty gloriously pregnant right now. And as my mind tends to wander, in the approximately 90 seconds I was standing within 5m of Anika I realised two things: She was wearing white, which I was never brave enough to wear when *I* was pregnant no matter how hot it was outside, and she was going to be pregnant at Christmas. She would have a Christmas bump!
I’ve only ever had a Christmas bump once, when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. You’d think a Christmas bump is an excellent excuse to eat multiple helpings of trifle, but unfortunately, the very presence of said bump means there’s not a lot of room for trifle. Or much of anything else. In fact, I remember that particular Christmas as one where I had the worst heartburn of my life, I couldn’t have any bubbles, and the smell of the cooked ham made me want to gag.
So I’m hoping that Anika’s Christmas bump this year is a bit more comfortable for her than mine was back in the day. At the very least, a Christmas bump is an excellent excuse to get out of doing the dishes after the big family feast. And if I ever do get to see Anika in person ever again, maybe next time I will get the courage to make eye contact and say something… Hopefully NOT “Baa!” or “Moo!”