You can be brave enough to grow a whole human, give birth, and survive nine months of heartburn… yet somehow still too scared to check the diaper in case it contains something that defies nature.
You can be brave enough to push through contractions… but too scared to sneeze at 2am in case the baby wakes up.
You can be brave enough to face labour… but too scared to trim those tiny fingernails that are significantly more dangerous than they look.
New parenthood is full of these contradictions. You do the biggest, bravest thing of your life, and then spend the next few months being startled by your newborn’s hiccups. It’s normal. It’s human. And it’s all part of the learning curve.
Tips for Not Being Scared of Birth (Even If You Still Are)
1. Fear and bravery are allowed to sit together
You can be terrified and still do the thing. That’s basically the definition of courage.
2. Learn just enough to feel grounded
You don’t need to memorise the stages of labour. Just understand the basics so nothing feels like a plot twist.
3. Choose your support people wisely
Pick the ones who make you feel safe, not the ones who keep telling you to “just relax.”
4. Practice breathing before you need it
It feels silly now. It won’t feel silly later.
5. Pack snacks
Fear is always worse on an empty stomach.
6. Remember that birth is not an exam
There is no “perfect” way to do it. There is only the way you do it.
7. Let go of the idea that you must be calm
You can roar, swear, cry, laugh, go quiet, go loud. All of it is normal.
8. Trust your body more than your imagination
Your imagination is dramatic. Your body knows what it’s doing.
9. Know that the room is full of people who have seen everything
Nothing you do will shock them. Truly nothing.
10. Keep your expectations flexible
Babies love a plot twist. You can handle it.
Tips for Not Being Scared of Motherhood (The Comedy Edition)
1. You will get spewed on
Prepare by accepting that “clean” is now a spectrum.
2. You will be touched out
Prepare by planning tiny pockets of alone time, even if it’s just sitting in the car for two minutes.
3. You will Google things you never thought possible
Prepare by choosing two trusted sources and ignoring the rest of the internet.
4. You will worry about waking the baby
Prepare by mastering the silent sneeze and the ninja‑level door close.
5. You will second‑guess yourself
Prepare by remembering that every parent does this. Every single one.
6. You will cry for no reason
Prepare by keeping tissues everywhere. Literally everywhere.
7. You will laugh at things that are not objectively funny
Prepare by embracing the chaos. Babies are tiny comedians.
8. You will be peed on
Prepare by keeping wipes in every room like a survivalist.
9. You will be asked for advice by people who have no idea you’re winging it
Prepare by nodding wisely and saying “every baby is different.”
10. You will feel overwhelmed
Prepare by having a tiny list of grounding things: a shower, a snack, a walk, a call to someone who gets it.
11. You will discover new fears
Like “why is the baby so quiet” and “why is the baby so loud.” Prepare by knowing this is universal.
12. You will also discover new strengths
Prepare by noticing them. They count.
13. You will forget things
Prepare by writing everything down. Then forgetting where you put the list.
14. You will meet strangers who want to touch your baby
Prepare by practicing your polite but firm “hands off, thanks.”
15. You will feel like you’re doing it wrong
Prepare by remembering that babies don’t need perfect. They need you.
16. You will become an expert in things you didn’t know existed
Prepare by embracing your new identity as Senior Poop Analyst.
17. You will have moments of pure confidence
Prepare by celebrating them. They matter.
18. You will have moments of “I cannot do this”
Prepare by remembering that you already are.
You can be brave and scared at the same time. You can be confident one minute and googling “is this normal” the next. You can be overwhelmed and still doing an incredible job.
Birth is big. Motherhood is bigger. But you are not meant to do any of it without support, humour and a little grace for yourself. And if you’re brave enough to bring a baby into the world, you’re absolutely brave enough to check the diaper.
Share this page
BUMP&baby
BUMP & baby is New Zealand’s only magazine for pregnancy and early babyhood. Our team of mums and mums-to-be understand what it’s like to be pregnant in this connected age, and that’s why BUMP & Baby online is geared toward what pregnant women and new mums really want to know.
Other articles of interest
Night‑Time Snuggle Club
If you’ve ever ended a long day thinking, I adore this tiny person but do they have […]
Navigating the unknown
Have you been diagnosed with unexplained or secondary infertility? Dr Devashana Gupta, Medical Director at Repromed (repromed.co.nz),
